Lucky Plucky Ducky

Last Edit August 2, 1999

My friend sent me a rubber ducky.
For my new vinyl spa.
A little yellow ducky with a bright red bill and black eyes.
He squeaks.
I have determined that it is a he.
The spa (it really wasn't an impulse buy - I've been pricing them for three years) is now up.
But they didn't ship the chemicals.
Not the special ones.
We have improvised and will go out to get the Essential brand we have to use.
Meantime, I sit in my big, oversized spa with 7 jets.
And, sometimes, the small elephant I am raising gets in with me.
Which is why I have a big one.
Spa that is.
He raises the water level when he gets in.
He uses the garden hose.
He re-arranges the jets to make a small whirlpool.
I allow this having witnessed the determination he exhibited when disrobing the pool body of the cardboard it came in and dragging it through the door and through the family room and through the patio door and out on to the deck.
I found the extension cord - we have many high-current cords since the contractor s have a habit of acquiring them. I keep extras around. For the electric lawnmower.
We secure the cord.
He secured the two pipes for the water to circulate through the heater.
The special patented heater.
He measured and tested and got it warmed up (two days) and then we christened it.
Marvelous.
I get to sit and do leg lifts.
I can do pushups in the water (can't do them on land).
Massage my feet on the jets.
He soaks.
And he attacks the ducky.
He flings him
He scoops him into the skimmer net.
He holds him under water.
He buries him in foam.
He flings him at the rabbit cage.
He put him into the filter cover and told me it was hazards of wildlife.
Not funny.
I like my ducky.
I shoved the hapless bird into the top of my bathing suit.
This resulted in a bevy of insults.
He claimed he wouldn't touch the ducky after that.
Ha!
He immediately hid the ducky.
I had to stand up and look.
I had to turn the jets off.
Aha!
He had him back in the filter cover.
And swirling in the whirlpool.
He finally turned into a prune and left me alone in the spa with my ducky.
Well, not quite.
He dragged the spa cover over half of the spa.
The ducky was now trapped in darkness.
I had shade.
I have to sit in the spa with a hat on.
To protect my face.
Keeps me in shade.
Then he tried to close the spa cover.
I don't think so!
He drippingly vanished into the house (over my newly washed kitchen floor!) and re-immerged with a bath towel.
I had forgotten one.
Good boy!
He explained to me how to power the jets on and off.
For when he isn't home.
How to move the cover without lifting.
Ditto.
Then, we closed the lid.
The ducky will remain in the pool.
I hope.
Maybe I'll get him some friends.