Mommy Germs

Last Edit May 12, 1999

My senior is going thru a phase.
Everything I do must be wrong.
So I really blew it this weekend.
I took a bite out of his Togo sandwich.
You would have thought I committed a capital crime.
A sin worse than murder.
A little bite. Off the back end of a 12" sandwich.
It was cut in half.
He inhaled the other half.
Before I had the little bite.
The kid at the counter told him to let me taste.
Pastrami.
I didn't want a whole one to my self.
Just a bite.
I was hungry.
I'm on a diet.
I don't want to be.
I want food.
Real food.
And the pastrami looked soooo good.
Wrong move.
I was wearing lipstick.
I try to go out of the house with my face on.
Looking human.
Don't want to scare people.
So I got a little lipstick on the bread crust.
I was trying to be careful.
It's not like he hasn't been kissed.
I used to smother him in the morning - kisses all over his face.
They thought he was a battered child.
No.
A loved one.
So what is wrong with a little lipstick?
Boy hasn't been kissed much I guess.
He didn't want to eat the sandwich!
He argued with me.
I had ruined it!
It wasn't neat.
"I'll rewrap it," I say.
Not good enough.
"It's covered in Mommy germs!" he wails.
I can't believe this.
I don't have time for this.
I don't want onions in the car while we shop for his Tux for the prom.
"Eat it," I say.
It takes me 20 minutes of arguing.
Insisting he not waste food.
He peels off the lipstick.
He finally eats the sandwich.
But first he has extracted a promise from me to never take a bite out of his Togo sandwich ever again.
Never, ever.
And not to snitch a chip from the bag.
Or a fry from his MacDonald's fry bag.
I promise.
I shouldn't have it anyway.
It's just my fat cells rebelling.
Besides, he's moving out soon.
Temptation will be removed.
I also promise to steal in at night and kiss him.
It's my right.
I made him.
Marking my territory.
I insist he be covered in Mommy germs.