The Finger of God

Last Edit October 29, 1999

I am doing a photo shoot, reviewing contracts, selecting ad insert space, running a company single-handed in my spare time while holding down a full time job. And carpooling with a teenager. I am a mess from day to day and always tired. Short term condition but still rough for the short period it exists.

So I bitch about it on occasion and complain and wish I lived closer (less commute), wish I could work at home (no commute) and wish I had an assistant to help handle mail, faxes, etc. Typical stuff. We all want more time and we all want help. And sometimes it seems overwhelming.

And if this were not enough.....

My near 24 year old drove up to the building where I worked (he had called and I knew he was coming), got out and collapsed in my arms - his boy friend - significant other was in jail for not paying the fine he was supposed to pay in this continued saga of "I screwed up and drove a scooter drunk and ran into a rouge cop" that we have been living through. His DUI was supposed to be worked off - but he carries needles since he is diabetic and so couldn't do that - got a lawyer - etc. etc. Anyway - he screwed up and was put in the tank. Seems a clerk hadn't checked the box that said the fine was still due. And nobody double checked.

Not a good situation because of the homophobic cops we have - so I wrote a check for the $1231 - a loan - and calmed my son down etc. - he just went to pieces on me. I pointed out that I am not the boy's mother and I will be paid back, and if the boy screws up again I will not bail him out again. Once is enough. As much as you feel for them, you have to set limits and demand they meet them. Hard to do but better for them in the long run.

It wouldn't have gone sour if the judge hadn't been bloody pissed off - seems a lot of people due in court did not show up. These boys did and offered to arrange payment. Not good enough by this time. One day in the tank for each $30 owed.

I sent my son on his way after I gave him a cup of coffee and some distraction. Take a deep breath.

It was literally hours before this crisis was resolved.

Just before he leaves my office he tells me - the helicopter that crashed yesterday in San Jose killing the cop? Landed 3 FEET in front of the boy and he had spent yesterday in an ambulance - hit by concrete and shook up.

If the cop hadn't managed to pull off a maneuver - heroic really - he would have hit a gas station and blown up the house they had just moved into. As well as blowing him up. And just possibly blowing my son up as well.

I was shook for hours after that

Finger of God. I pointed this out to my son.

Not your time. Means you are here to do something.

Then I had to go sit in a seminar and evaluate a low-end WBT training program. Breath deep.

By the time I got home I was still a wreck. So close.....

(They got home safely - 11PM at night. You need a cashier's check for bail and you can't get bailed out until you are processed and it took hours.)

Somehow the commute and the hassle and the lack of sleep is no longer relevant in the scheme of things.