Last of the Crabs

Last Edit October 21, 1999

On one of the last trips to Red Lobster, we are two hours in - we have progressed to soda and salad - and I have tea.
My son is baffled by a job application form - he wants to go back to work. Feed his camera habit.
Seems the kids can't do the math with out his G4.
And a C program.
His G4 is set up - in under an hour - but he has abandoned the system CD on the floor. Sloppy.
(A week later - after carefully stepping around it - I finally picked it up and hid it.)
I have his old HP printer - no floppies to install. His zip drive (built into the G4) - and no install floppy.
He wants the film scanner - says he'll take it to San Diego and he won't let me into the master bedroom.
My bedroom.
He wants the Jacuzzi tub.
I remind him he needs to learn to drive.
He isn't getting the scanner.
He tells me that he and his brother delight in taking my stuff 'cause I have good stuff.
Yes, I do. I worked hard for it.
So there.
37 years and counts for something!
Not to my boys.
I need a security cable on the G3 (got one) and one on the scanner (ditto).
Back off boys!
I want my toys!
Second childhood.
We have a new server - waiter -again.
And the server is a bit slow for us.
The got the first plates out but its nine and no refills.
Bad move.
My son is squirting lemons into butter - and eyeing a mounted fish - with a table knife. Target zone.
Don't you dare!
The puns begin.
Refills arrive and --- VANISH!
We warn her - reorder NOW!
My son is dancing his crab tendons already - this early!
By 9:20 we are waiting for a second refill. Kelly and the manager, Christine, make note.
You see, the manager and her husband are eating with us. We are a large group - for Crabby Monday is ending for the year - it is becoming shrimpy Monday - and I amy join in for that.
We are restless.
We sing a chorus of happy birthday.
But we are bored.
Finally, the refills arrive - three platters.
But the slowdown has begun - once that crab hits the wall ----
I finally got a refill on my tea (waved it in the air a few times - I am not subtle at this hour of the evening) slow, slow, slow.
We have a discussion about disturbing men when they are eating.
Do they bite?
Then we discuss handling meat in general.
And I discuss homemade ice cream to change the subject. Which has gotten unprintable.
It's better fresh. The ice cream.
So is crab meat.
After multiple servers kick in - they finally have enough crab on the table. And empty the platters.
I ask for a bite.
Dan tells my son to bite his mother.
No. He's weaned.
They move on to a discussion of Zena and Hercules episodes. The warrior stripper.
It is now 9:40 and they have lost it.
They begin singing - a lame version of the three kings.
Dan reaches fruitlessly for the soda jug.
"Use the Force, Dan".
You see, his last name is Skywalker.
Really.

We will now rest from the crab adventures - because Dan and Mark are on a ship somewhere stuffing themselves.
I am hunting guns and vests, repairing the truck (over due for 75,000 mile service), writing a Tcl seminar and learning about Placeware, rewriting some of my book (Jettison) and
Booking plane tickets and a car and a hotel and planning the photo shoot with Troy.
And waiting for My G4 (450MHz and a $350.00 discount).
Shrimp will be coming.