Revenge

Last Edit September 6, 1998

My sons are plotting again.
When I called my younger one, after I had won Fabio at the bachelor auction in Little Rock, he had not seemed disturbed or even surprised. He didn't sound bothered.
I was wrong.
He had immediately contacted his brother - with a 911 call to his pager. I know because his brother got upset about it.
I heard about it when I got home.
It was then that I realized that these offspring of mine are quite modern in their methods. They are scheming via e-mail, pagers, voice mail, cell phones, Yahoo and chat rooms.
They want to get even They want revenge.
I guess the initial reaction was that I wasn't serious.
I guess it finally sank in.
"How much?" asks the older one on the phone after I got back to work, expressing disbelief. I tell him to check the web site. He does - he has a T1 line so it's fast.
"Neat," says he. "My Mom did this," he says to a colleague. "Pay for my truck," he says to me.
No way. Mother is not funding the Tacoma. No. No. No.
The younger one is pricing a G3 (Apple computer). His Performa is only 18 months old. But it's only 200MHz. 48MB RAM. Black Hawk joystick. He lands jets and helicopters with it. If he wasn't 6'2" and didn't wear glasses, Top Gun would have called by now. The cockpits are built for slender, shorter men. We know this because we have toured Miramar while Top Gun and the Blue Angels were in residence. He sat in the jets when he was younger. Now he can't fit. Pisses him off.
"I think I need a new monitor." This I hear when I take him to work and he plays on my T1 line. He's surfing the Apple websight, checking on the specs for a G3.
"Get a G3 powerbook. The one that eats Pentiums for lunch," E-mails my older son.
So the younger one prices both a power book and a minitower.
"I think I need DVD." He mumbles.
"No, I don't think so," I respond distractedly.
"How much RAM," he asks.
"124MB I say, busy doing work on my other terminal. An (ugh) NT. I'm known to do good work. I'm actually very good at what I do in spite of the equipment.
I hear mumbles about the sizes of the hard drives.
He settles for the 300MHz, 128MB, 24xCD, zip drive, audio-video card, 6Gig hard drive, 17" monitor with an external 56K modem. I don't use T1 lines at home.
Roughly $3,000 - 4,000.
To be added to the approximately $8,000 I have spent on the van.
Not enough.
He wants equality with Fabio.
The older one owes more on the Tacoma than I paid for my date with Fabio -- so his request is uncomplicated and easy.
So is my response.
"No," I say.
"You are not a charity. You have a job."
The younger one is more difficult.
The younger one is told that I'll consider a G3 - when he is in college.
He can't have the van until high school graduation.
He can't even drive it until he does his Eagle project for Boy Scouts.
They are now sulking.
They regard Fabio as the third child in the family.
They demand equal opportunity to spend my money.
They demand equal attention from Mother.
The younger one wants immediate gratification.
So do I.
October is a long way away.