With Eyes Wide Open

Last Edit October 7, 1998

October 17th is out.
That was supposed to be my date with Fabio.
The tall blond god must wait.
The goddess is not ready.
I am not cooked yet.
I am a lobster.
I am still peeling.
I am a mess.
No longer bloody - but bowed.
Never give a woman money and a new plastic surgery option.
No. No. No.
It was planned for a year.
I was saving up.
Chemical peels don't last. Not on my face.
No elasticin.
Can't add it back in.
It's a genetic thing.
Rats.
Eye lifts - last longer. But not when your weight goes up and down in a 60 lb. swing.
(Going down again. 30 more to go. Got a reason. It's 6'3". Italian.
Loves to cuddle. Good enough for me.)
Surgery options last 5-7 years on me.
Can't keep doing them, either.
End up with eyes wide open.
Permanently.
Not good.
Or you can end up looking very surprised all the time.
Yuck.
I'll save that for when I'm 65. If I still give a damn.
Now we have "Laser Resurfacing".
Make the skin renew and rebuild itself.
Add elasticin (for a time).
Reduce and improve wrinkles. Sun spots. Dark circles that make you look tired unless you put on Demablend with a roller. All that jazz.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Chemical peels heal in a week or 10 days.
Surgery heals in a week. Maybe two.
Laser resurfacing?
Indefinite.
It seems that way.
Being allergic to the moisturizer does not help.
Hives.
Developing new allergies to face cream, Noxzema, Baby Oil, petroleum products, super-sensitive skin Oil of Olay, etc. doesn't help either.
Haven't had time to seek the dermatologist.
Just eat Benadryl at night.
Use hydrocortizone. Baby powder.
Tranqulize myself to sleep.
Continue my diet.
Wash carefully and not often.
I have some white dots showing through.
I think that means it is healing.
Finally.
But, the white dots don't yet outnumber the red dots.
At least the brown dots peeled off.
It's been four weeks already.
The last two I have been working.
Without makeup.
Women should never be forced into that situation.
Could scare someone!
At least I can add eye liner and lipstick this week.
And nobody's fainted yet.
They all think it's a bad sunburn.
They don't know I paid someone to do this to me.
But my new boss still looks at me strangely.
He's not quite sure what I'm apt to do next.
Neither am I.
And I've only been here four days.
(But then, he's read my stories.)
(Ooops!)
Monday the doctor will check to see how I'm doing.
Am I soup yet?
Fabio's now on for November.
I told them that he should be sure to be rested.
I will be.
I'm saving it up.
The boy is in trouble!
The expression "crazed ferret" comes to mind.
I can't think why.