The Jungle Commercial

Last Edit August 1998
Published in the fan club newsletter

Driving home from work is a tricky commute. I often get stuck on the freeway for hours (2-3), and come out of the car staggering and not fully in focus.
On one such occasion, I staggered into the house, slammed a cup into the microwave for coffee and took over the TV (a nice, big, 45" set) from my 16 year old son (a nice, big, 6 footer) and flipped on Hardcopy. Or maybe it was ET. It was channel 4 and I wasn't in focus.
I glanced at the set to see what was on. There stands a smiling Fabio in all his glory in a loin cloth while the announcer said, coming up next....
I woke up real quick. Talk about focus.
I screamed. My pulse raced.
My son ran into his room and slammed the door, a standard response to his nemesis. He tells me its a standard response to my screaming.
Sure enough, it's the filming of the new I Can't Believe It's Not Butter commercial - in the wilds of a real live jungle.
Fabio is made up like a Tarzan wannabe (ahhhh). I've always been a Tarzan fan. Fabio even did two Tarzan bookcovers.
Fabio is running through the jungle, bare chested, muscles rippling, hair flying.. (Sigh.)
During a break he shows off his running shoes. This is a real jungle He is not to go barefoot. They are cropping out the running shoes.
They have emergency medical staff on standby. The snakes and spiders are real. So are the other predators.
Fabio is not allowed to swing on the vine (which would have done me in right there) - he wanted to but the producers thought it too risky. (Good thinking. Don't hurt that body!!)
The stunt double was claiming to be better looking than Fabio. (Ha!) And promptly swung himself into the scaffolding.
That caused the great one to chuckle. (Love that deep laugh!)
The loin cloth definitely has too much fabric.....
The commercial started running in January. I'm waiting to catch up with it. [No - wait - I have. And he ends up in a Tux, in the jungle! I need to watch that again....]
Meanwhile, I'm giving up butter.
So is my son. He has no choice.