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Last Edit September 2, 1998

The day does not start out well. By 4AM I am in tears - aftershock. The impact is beginning to be felt. Laughter and champagne forgotten. The stunning metamorphosis from timid, shy woman to a determined woman on a mission is trying to take its toll. I decide that I need to write. It is why I go se him. Each visit is worth 25,000 words. Novel or shorts, doesn't matter.
I don't know why he has this effect on me. I just make use of it. Why not?
So need to pack. It takes three attempts to sort my new suitcase, assemble myself and find my glasses. It's now a running joke. The two comrades in arms have threatened to staple them to my forehead. I almost call them for help. At home I wake up my son and demand assistance. I can see near, not far. Far is anything over 3 feet.
I call a bellhop. I ain't in the mood to struggle with luggage. What I arrived with was OK - the new case is 28" and is too much to add on. I put one of the other bags into the big case. Fabio photos go in the small one. This I will guard with my life.
I eat breakfast - a glass of Medifast - and sit in the coffee shop having coffee and chatting with the waiters. I am waiting for the other two - we are going to the airport as a group and then drop onto the planes one at a time. I will be the last one out.
The waiters are amazed at what I have done - we tell everyone. As I said, we had thought about the PA system.
It's amazing. Cab drivers, waiters, male and female are mesmerized. A few months ago, I would have been too.
They think I was his date last night. I wish!
No such luck.
My time is October. By then I will be in a perfect state of frenzy.
I will need to refill the tranquilizers. It took one to let me sleep. I'll need another when I transfer funds. (Actually, I will need two when I pay the tax bill. Stock sale. Thank you so much, Russ!)
So glad I was holding back from 100% reinvestment in the market, diversified or not. Timing is everything!
I am to have help designing my wardrobe for L.A. I haven't even read what is included. I currently don't care. To sit in a limo and to have dinner with him - to actually talk to the man will be a delight.
My companions want to be bugs on the wall. I imagine many people will want that. I'll be writing for weeks.
He will, of course, be signing photos for my two cohorts and of course, for me. Must keep my sons annoyed. It helps them appreciate their mother.
A copy of the poster we were rude with (well, not that rude) needs to be signed.
And I want photos - taken by a professional who won't lose the film. A formal reminder of the date. Suitable for framing. (My companions want them suitable for printing on sheets!)
I will have a new camera.
I will practice with it.
For now, I need to try to build an animated gif for his website.
Scan photos for mine.
Plan my adventure.
Try to calm down enough to go to work. And do some. (I tried.)
But it is fun to watch people's faces when you tell them what you've done.
Disbelief.
Shock.
Stunned silence.
Laughter (nervous).
Envy.
And it's nice to know I can afford it. I was raised poor, and have faced that wolf many times over the years. The last time was when I was downsized, 3.5 years ago --- the last time I ran away to get a hug from Fabio.
It's nice to know I can make memories. At my age, it's nice to have fun with life.
It's nice to know I'll never be hungry (unless I'm dieting) or homeless (unless everyone else is). I don't need to be rich. I am comfortable.
And it's nice to be able to put 00s on the end of a donation.
It's nice to share.
You get back what you put into this life.
I hug my sons often and I hug Fabio as often as I can.