Witchdoctors

Last Edit November 15, 1998

Ho. Ho. Ho.
I survived the sales conference. Sort of.
The Fabio shirt was a hit.
The women at the hotel gift shop all have the address for the website. They wanted to go on the date.
The date didn't happen.
Not yet.
My insides, which declare themselves on occasion to be unhappy, were not responding correctly to medication. By the last day I was tired and uncomfortable so I took tranquilizers (thank god for good instincts) to relax the stomach and abdominal muscles (good thing) and staggered to the airport.
The suitcase had grown in weight and was overweight - so I threw out the conference notebook (8lbs) - I am after electronic copies of the presentations. Paper is a waste.
Some woman lifted the suitcase onto the scale for me (bless you, who ever you were).
The plane was delayed three hours. I tried sleeping in the bar on a bench but that is not allowed. (The waitress who was serving the rest of the party had left me alone. It was some other person.) I went out and slouched down on a bench near the gate. They changed the gate 3 times. I took advantage of being out of it and demanded to board early.
Crotchety old ladies should be humored.
I flew home - sleeping the whole time.
I dragged the case off the luggage belt - I had, unfortunately, removed the bodysuit undergarment - (bad instinct). I dragged it to the shuttle (wheels - good) but the shuttle was a trial. And then I had to drag it off and into the truck.
Now, I do know how to lift and leverage things. I am not stupid.
But I did not realize that being lighter (160lbs), the abdominal walls were closer together (the hernia runs from bra to crotch) soo when the aggravated intestine poked itself through this time, it got stuck.
I got home, took medication, and collapsed in bed (it was already 7:30), my son was tired as well so we called it a night.
By 11PM I was in his room shaking him awake and falling on him. I was whimpering in pain and mumbling about 911.
It is amazing that a child it takes me 45 minutes to awaken for school can get up and move so fast.
He called his brother - who was promptly on the way up from Santa Clara (30 minutes away).
He then found my Doctor's number and had the night Doctor paged.
She told me to get to an emergency room. (She would have preferred Stanford - and hour's drive away.) She said I had done everything right (I had taken liquid Magnesium laxative to clear the intestine and it had not worked) and that it was stuck and needed to be put back inside.
My older son threw me into his Tacoma and rushed me to ER. He returned for the others later. There was some confusion about car keys.
ER finally (they are soooo slow) said what I knew and hooked me up to IVs and did blood tests. It took 3 attempts to get blood, 4-5 for one IV and 2 for another. 36 hours later, my wrist is swollen and still hurts. They knocked me out to relax the abdomen walls and push the intestine back in.
They also decided to prep me for surgery.
Like bloody hell.
They did a cat scan (why?)
They ran a tube in my nose (my kids said it was 3 feet long) down to my stomach. My nose was taped (I had a fit - I did not want a red nose). My throat still hurts.
They put a catheter where I won't discuss.
Yuck.
I was finally awake enough by morning to have the surgeon arrive and graphically describe what I had (like I didn't grasp this) and to tell me they were prepping me for surgery.
I told them no way.
I may have been more explicit.
They took exception. Two doctors took turns harranging me.
They wanted me there all day.
I wanted to hem my dress.
By 9am I reached my Doctor - they wheeled me out so I could talk on the phone. He said he'd see me Wednesday.
I signed a release - that I refused treatment - and checked out.
They had to tell me at least three times that my intestine could die (my mother has this happen once a month at the minimum and she is still around - gone on for years). They also dropped the bomb that my EKG shows I have heart disease and wanted to know if I had ever had a heart attack.
Lovely thing to tell woman thinking about a date with Fabio.
My Doctor said he'd already seen it before.
They told me I should have a stress EKG.
I said I had already had one. That surprized them.
They tried once more to force me to have the surgery there.
I said it was being scheduled but that I wanted to loose 60lbs first. I didn't elaborate that my doctors thought I would have an easier time if I lost the weight. Less strain.
They told me I was stupid (bad move) and that "nobody looses 60 lbs".
I have already lost 35. And really only need to get to 140-145.
I told my kids I wanted to go home.
They again said they wanted me there all day. To see if the intestine was damaged.
My back was damaged from being kept on that hard bed.
I then got really pissed off and decided they could stop calling me Ms. White. I prefer Dr. White.
Their manner changed.
I knew it would.
It's why I did it. I don't like men who do not listen to women.
My older son tried to sooth them. Told me I was being pissy.
Yes, I was. Never get between a woman and Fabio.
I will see my Doctor on Wednesday. I will call him on Monday just to check in. I will get the surgery on the books ASAP.
I went home and called Make A Wish - to see when the limo was coming. I decided I would fly down, rest, and go to dinner. I told them what I had been through.
Twenty minutes later, they called back.
Eric was in a panic.
He had thought I was already on the plane.
Fabio is sick (the flu), temp of 102 and tossing his cookies.
What a pair we would have been!
Eric wanted to reschedule.
I thought that was just fine by me.
My kids and I spent the day sleeping. I spent today on the couch as well.
I must say, I guess I raised these boys right even if I am a single parent.
I may try driving tomorrow.
Then I did what any mother does for her kids, I baked a cake.