2005 Story Set
| Date: November 10, 2005 7-10 day countdown to donor cells (second try.) John's counts back up to 2.6. He's on antibiotics for sinuses - slight case of - AM. He's on Magnesium - AM - PM. He's on Potassium - tonight and wait for tests. He's on mouth care - they added trioches back in and said DO IT!!!! His mouth messed up - lesions - why he's struggling to eat and swallow - should clear up now. Still on Sudafed - on demand. Malox - stomach. Protonix - stomach - AM. I need a damn chart!!!! (I have one on the wall - with written additions.) UGH. In 7-10 days - doner cells - doner is being activated. They eminded us about risks. Reminded us he - if he is going to relapse- will do it faster than 6 months. (How prophetic.) Reminded us little left to try at the end of this road - antibody will keep him alive for a bit - - cost him his liver eventually (in other words - very little hope). Reminded us about graft vs Host, No salads - or anything bacterial. (Back to the book on low-microbial living.) Trying for a shower if he is strong enough. Right now he's swallowing about 20 pills. I will try for soft food - no more hard hamburgers etc - stay soft until mouth heals. John said - meet donor in March - and if he has relapsed - kill donor - put his brain in that body --- ha ha ha. (Black humor.) He knows. I don't want to discuss this again. Losing him is not an option I ever wanted to face. We know it looms. We are ignoring it. Living our moments every day. Trying, trying to find our way out of this hell. We are going to steadfastly ignore the prognosis. We are only too aware. I love him and he loves me and we just hang on. |
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