Reacting to Horror

work offsite (try to work)

read a lot

numbly watch TV while flipping channels

drink - not coffee - can after can of lemonaide

eat a candy bar - full-blown

eat nuts (I don't like them but I was eatting them - they need to go out to feed the squirrels)

eat cinnamon buns (he ate part of 1)

eat a block of stale leftover dark chocolate I found in the bottom of my suitcase

buy dark hair color

but cafe mocha even tho I am supposed to stop that

decide to cut off all my hair which is unruly as hell and I have no time to deal with

I bought three clip-on wigs - but they do not match my hair (they should)

I will need eventually to take them to the hairdresser and say "make my hair match-----) - meanwhile I will hunt for a full wig

Wander around in a nightgown all day long

if I spill hot soup on my boobs - put on another nightgown

stay barefoot - even taking out trash and freezing my feet (ignore John's yelling at me to stop doing that - freezing my feet) also in my nightgown

pretend I am his walker so he can lean on me - anytime he wants

eat leftovers including cold Top Ramon noodles (yuck)

roam the house aimlessly stepping over the trail of tree needles from Christmas - one I knew would be his last

put dog out - don't feed her (wet and cold) and toss out a handful of dog bones

leave the fallen down umbrella on the ground outside until the storm finishes (when will that be)

waiting for word the hill behind the SD house went downhill - just about floating up here in the days and days of rain

spend hours looking over real estate lists - find houses I want - new - about 1-2 million each - more driving
ludicrous - I wanted to move closer to the hospital

contemplate the lottery ($68 million)

that would do it

would need an elevator

a vacumm on every floor

forgot to check yards

watching America's castles and want to find a man to get me one (ho ho) (John's suggestion)

mindless

Wander in and out of his room and hug him as will, pet his hair (he hates that but allows it) and steal a kiss. Touching any time he's near is required.

How do you absord this?