John - Running Out of Time

Date: January 4, 2005

John has relapsed again

have no idea what to do -------

we are looking at a few things but----

the leg pain - the lack of bounce on blood transfusions - the low white cell count

this is all deadly

we are doing a do not resuscitate order per the doctor's request

Deb and other drive me nuts - they say I am pushing him to do things because I want him to live

he knows damn well that it's his call

he did say - "I will do chemo again if I need it"

HE is tooo precious

we will get a video camera - he wants to make a tape-disk whatever

I am trying hard

so I ate a bowl of Godiva choc raspberry truffle ice cream and whipped cream
and John said - that is not an excuse to overeat until you are buried beside me
I ate - and made myself sick

he laughed at me and sent me to bed

he's also taken to whapping me on the butt - figures somebody has to

he's uncomfortable

he watched the Quiet Man (John Wayne) again - loves that movie

then ordered me about
"Woman of the house, where's my tea?"

little nut