2006 Story Set
| Date: September 16, 2006 In the supermarket freezer, I found something. A brick of carrot cake with that icing made by the same people who make decadent fruit pies and deadly cheesecake. I have been an addict of carrot cake, nutty, moist, delicious, for more years than I can say. I like cheesecake - but carrot cake - is to die for. Of course, with lots of pounds to loose, I would. I grabbed the brick and flipped it over to read the terrible news. 1/6th of this brick is a serving. Well, just barely. 1/6th of this brick is 300 calories. Since when did I ever have 1/6th of anything? The carbs and the sugar are over the top I note as I read with dismay. Should I cheat, and late at night, unnerved by either writing or reading a hot sex scene and faced with an empty double bed, I tend to raid the fridge, right after gulping a glass of red wine (which my doctor, before he retired, insisted was good for me). For many years, I was used to one child or the other bouncing into and out of my bed. My younger son was cuddly. 6'1" of cuddly. He was practiced at those 5 minutes hits that would leave me distracted and giggling. He did not allow a moment's peace. Certainly not a moment to feel sorry that I was sleeping alone. Oh no! He did not allow that! And, if I had bought carrot cake - he would have eaten it. To protect me from myself. No, I tell myself. Behave. I promised him I would. 1/4 Cup and dropping of Haagen Dazs per night and not every night is what I have fallen back to. Chocolate is being allowed to fade away except for that once a month week. The ice cream is slowly fading too. I am being good. I am drawn back to the frozen food cabinet. I walk away but somehow end up going back down the aisle. It is calling me. I stare at it. My willpower sagging as much as the paunch I have developed. (Sideways, I look pregnant - like 9 months along. My body has a sense of humor. The titanium abdomen doesn't allow the fat to spread around. Shoves it up into my diaphragm, spills it over my pants waistband. I hate it. I am working on a divorce.) And then I spot it. Weight Watcher's has a carrot cake. It only has 80 calories. Individually wrapped. No cheating. Or, if you cheat, you have to open the second package. Deliberately acknowledging that you are, in fact, cheating. It is a much smaller brick. I grab it. Later that evening, my Lean Cuisine finished (small meal), I indulge. First, the icing. Good but not the finger-licking, lips sticking stuff you get in a deli. This is a thin candy shell. The cake - OK, but not moist, succulent, with nuts. It is -- just a cake. And the portion is very, very small. one inch by a few inches. Palm of your hand. It's as fine as a Weight Watcher's desert is. If you have lived on diets as long as I, you have had the Mudd Pie and the other attempts at staving off the incessantly clamoring sweet tooth. I grab a diet A&W and try behave. It will be a long night. At least, frozen, the carrot cake cannot still call to me. And if you believe that, ....... |
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