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Date: June 16, 2006
Want to hear something really stupid???
The silly people in Alameda County just sent a JURY SUMMONS to JOHNATHAN - my dead son.
There are no printable words------
These are the same incompetents who received so many letters from Stanford and Lucille-Packard hospitals that the doctors were tired of writing them! They constantly tried to get the sole care-giver removed from a critical patient. And when that did not work, they tried to get him! Even off his deathbed! Fools all.
I "officially" moved to San Diego in November, 2005, several months after he died. I work contract for a high-tech firm (since April 2006) but even on salary, my residence is still San Diego, where my clothing, furniture, one car (soon two if I can find the beetle) and most of my computers are. I live out of suitcases up here in a house I am trying to sell. After that I will rent. As long as that is required. My heart and the urn holding Johnathan's ashes remain at home in San Diego, Scripps Ranch.
I dutifully filed a change of address with the AAA (auto club) auto counter and carry an address card for my driver's license.
However, when I did get DMV renewals, I saw that they have NOT processed the address change.
I have, after changing everything to San Diego, had to have mail sent back up here. I was getting too much a week (junk) and it overflowed the mailbox. I also stopped driving back and forth weekly. I am preparing to begin flying back and forth.
So my mail temporarily comes back to Fremont. Only until the house sells.
Gave them false hope I guess.
They promptly summoned me for jury duty for June 5th.
I grabbed my utility bill for San Diego and waited. Turns out, I was excused without being called.
So I can file my change of address (again), register to vote in San Diego and get rid of the pests. I have sworn that I will never serve on a jury in a county that was so callus as to summon my dying child.
(Yes, between the two different leukemias, when he was stable and I was unemployed, I actually showed up one day for jury duty, we were sent home, and lo and behold, I got summoned 6 months later. I took great joy telling them that I had 18 months free and to go do something unpleasant with their summons. Well, I was more polite than that. Just. Barely.)
I came home Thursday, June 15th, just two weeks after my summons, tired (must be the heat), and found another jury notice. I fumed. Idiots! I have 12 months! Free of you! At least! I didn't check the mail in detail because the mailman had stuffed a QVC delivery into the small mailbox and it took me three minutes to wrestle it out.
When I got inside, there it was. Johnathan's name, clear as glass.
I was furious. It's bad enough they tried to recruit him for the army (after his death). It's bad enough that I get flyers from Big & Tall (where I took him shopping, and he told the clerk he was my Barbie doll). It's bad enough he died February 25, 2005.
So I contacted members of my family. By e-mail. Vent!
One of my sisters answered:
Tell them that he needs a wheelchair-accessible court to serve in as he was cremated and they would need to give him special accommodations.
Write something up so ghoulish that they will cringe with regret and sorrow and go get sick over lunch.
Be creative
It helps stop tears.
What a great idea! So I started collecting my thoughts. - When shall I bring him up from San Diego? He's sitting on the piano in the living room.
- Do you have a proper display area for the urn?
- What time shall I drop him off?
- How will the urn get through the metal detector?
- What time shall I pick him up?
- Can he be jury foreman?
- He'll have to be polished and dust free at all times - no fingerprints. I'll provide a polishing cloth.
- Do you have proper handicap facilities for a dead man?
Holy moly - this could be hilarious.
The kind of thing John would have laughed himself sick over. My family contributed a few more. (We are a macabre group)
- He never has to take potty breaks as he already is a pot.
- He does not require Perrier water at breaks as water would just muddy up his thought process.
- He won't need a parking space or lunch breaks.
- However, he may seem non-reactive to testimony - - -
- And tell them that he "urned" the right to be the jury foreman!
Johnathan is LAUGHING!!!!!! I swear I can hear him!!!!
(Remember all the fire jokes I got when I set my kitchen on fire?)
Giggle giggle giggle.
Oh yes ---
- We can provide an affidavit that he is not carrying a concealed weapon of any kind.
- A concealed weapons search is forbidden.
- By law - the urn cannot be opened.
- The urn contents are not explosive.
- I, however, probably am.
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