Thunder Claps and Wild Weather

Around 2:30AM I was fast asleep
(I sleep in spurts
- not on my side because of circulation
- not on my back because of a bad back
- which limits my options and my comfort)

I am considering a body-pillow - with a Fabio pillow case for yucks. (Seriously. Or maybe Fabio----)

There was rather a loud thunder clap ---

Which I registered --- sort of --- in my sleepy state --- foggy-brained --- blink blink --- can I just go back to that dream? Where was I?

Followed by the thump of what I figured out later was four dog feet and a furry body on top of me dead-center on my bad back, which I barely registered as anything recognizable at the time.

It was enough to realize SOMETHING was ON ME, had hit me - and God knew what it was -----

which had me flailing and rolling over really fast within seconds - asthma be damned --- no one attacks me in my own home!
(-----trying to remember how far from the bed I have the 30-gauge shotgun, the 9mm being in its case in the kitchen and the BB gun not in action except as a club --- I keep weapons scattered about the house --- God help an intruder)

This flailing sent the dog sailing to the floor where I heard her skid on the laminate - which allowed me to connect that it must have been the dog that I tossed off of me ---- a man would have shorter toenails (it is hoped) and be in shoes (also hoped).

I sat up panting and looking around wildly, twisted in the covers. The TV was acting as a night-light.

Was there a man in my room? (He would have been in deep trouble at this point - mad woman with attitude is not to be cajoled. Unless it was Fabio and I haven't heard he ever did anything that odd.)

Nope - just the damn dog with a new twist on the "I am afraid of noises" - which she has never exhibited before this.

She is sitting up and looking confused? As well she might! No bark, no whine, just the snake head look of "I know I did something bad but you can't see me". Johnathan named that look. She has it perfected.

Oh Joy! This is a new trick! Pin mother to the bed! (Usually she just sleeps next to the bed even in thunder storms) (Just don't leave her out in one!)

I DO NOT TOLERATE DOGS ON THE BED!!!!! EVER!!! I KICK CATS OFF!!!! EVEN------

I was a bit upset --- when I have managed to be asleep I like to stay that way (hence - no animals, two or four-legged) - I toss and turn enough as it is.
(Besides, the dream was nice, he was cute and -----)

I had to stomp barefoot downstairs for her cage, fetch it, haul it upstairs in the cold air of a drafty house with the cold floor on my barefeet because I did not stop for slippers --- (It is 50 outside - I swear it is inside too)
and put her in it (cage training is supposed to help her nerves).

It is where she will spend the next few nights -----.

No more jump on mother!!!

Good Grief! This is all I needed!

Meanwhile, the new ditches in the back and side are nearly full of water - and the drains are not in yet. My Fabio tee shirts are wet (means laundry time). The boxes of Fabio coffee cups are wet. (On the "sheltered" back deck -- the one with the brand-new roof.)
My contractor's stuff probably got hit too

It is mud soup out there and the rain pelts sideways. So does the hail. We just took over 4,000 pounds of debris and weeds and junk and crap and overgrowth out of my yard - which means I am wall-to-wall (or fence to fence as it were) MUD!

The mud slides won't start for a couple of days (water has to seep down into the hills).
My hill won't move that much (partially re-planted so far) - it takes a jack-hammer to plant a tree bigger than a hand-width in depth.
I don't even feel earthquakes unless they exceed 5.1.

The rain isn't stopping. Over 224 collisions since midnight. (normal is 55-60) - can't shop, can't go to the movies - would not dare!

Freeways closed here and up North (8, 5, 280 and 101). Cars running off the roads into ditches. Crazy!

Rain bothers Southern CA drivers - snow makes them go insane! Same up North! (What? Something damp on the road? Slow down? Hang up my cell phone? Who? Moi?)

I cannot even drive North anytime soon because the cops are currently "escorting" drivers over the Grapevine - I can just picture THAT traffic jam!

Over 30 miles of bumper to bumper skidding trucks in low gear climbing up and then down a 6% grade from 0 to 4200 feet and back, all on ice with chains?

Yikes!

I think I can pass on that miss-adventure!

Want to argue about Global Warming do you?????