Mother Nature Has a Sense of Humor

October 20, 2010

First - she erases your face. Your entire identity is your face!
     
      You loose color in your skin.
      enter blush and colored foundations
      moisturizers for the cracks
     
      Your eyebrows turn white and thin out
      Dye them and use eyebrow pencils
      in the end - tattoo the eyebrows Êin place (plastic surgeon people!)
     
      Your eyelashes turn white and thin out
      Heavy mascara and then false eyelashes, Latisse for the rest of your life (making your eye change color to brown) hmmm
      heavy eyeliner and lots of eye shadow
      in the end - tattoo the eyeliner Êin place (plastic surgeon people!)
     
from a distance - you are gone
     
And then, your hair goes white and thins out around your face and that bald spot in the back.
      First you dye it, and then you get wig-lets and finally a full wig
      When you dye it - you find gray hair resists dye -- isn't that special?
      and white hair is so thin and transparent you look bald anyway!
      Why some women SHAVE IT ALL OFF AND ADOPT THE LOOK!   
     
Now add wrinkles as your face succumbs to gravity
      Enter plastic surgery
      HRT (look how hard they are trying to get us off of that!)
      Lasers, Botox
     
This is just your face!
     
And then the worst insult of all
      Your face has decided to sprout growth in other places
      Nose hair
      mustache hairs
      Beard
      Wild hairs everywhere - not necessarily white. Lasers can only remove the dark ones.
     
So I dye my hair, dye the roots (doesn't last long), streak it to "soften it" against the growing wrinkle farm

Shave every 3-5 days (My legs and underarms need far less attention), went bald in places I would like to have hair...no solution THERE!

I use heavy eye make-up (always have) and notice that it's time to address the lashes, dye the eyebrows and try not to pluck them senseless. Use a lip plumper and as soon as possible will go get re-botoxed. Have braces. Saving up for an eye lift. Again. And a lower jaw - I hate the wrinkles on my lips and the sagging neck.
     
The breast reduction I had was great - but over the years - they re-sank and grew partially back (FAT people). Time to remove them altogether and use implants (really permanently perky).
     
What Mother Nature does is fix it so you can never retire. You can't afford it!