Women of a Certain Age

2000

Where in blazes did that expression come from?
When did I fall into this category?
Women "of a certain age" are not supposed to wear oversized hoop earrings. So says People Magazine.
Well, excuse me but I have worn hoops (the "newest fashion craze") for years - they never went out of style for me. I am a brunette. We like hoops. Especially when we have long, thick hair.
My hair is thinning - but it was very thick to start with so it is still thick. Still long. And I like hoops.
Women "of a certain age" has become the latest catch phrase. It defines us as different.
Yeah.
We're older.
It defines what we are expected to do.
Say what?
It is used as a marker -- "As a woman of a certain age, she looks good."
If she wasn't of a certain age, would she look ugly?
Fashion trends are discussed, and mention is made that "women of a certain age" should not attempt this or that.
We are supposed to keep our skirts long and our necklines high. My legs can still make a plastic surgeon swoon and my new chest is perky. I will wear a mini and plunge it down to my now-healed navel if I choose! And look good doing it!.
"Women of a certain age" are not supposed to be active in sports.
So it's OK if I go outside and plant tomatoes with a pick ax and a shovel? Like I've always done?
Or, how's about puttin' me on the back of Fabio's bike? Let's just see how sporty I can be!
"Women of a certain age" are not supposed to care about make up and hairstyle and pretty, sexy, hot clothes.
Oh, right.
On the other hand, if we don't, "women of a certain age" can find themselves quickly unemployed!
Our opinions aren't supposed to count.
"Women of a certain age" are by inference supposed to just go away.
Stay in the background.
And shut up.
We are supposed to be into crafts and retirement.
Ha! Not this woman!
I'm working on a commercial web page, a stud calendar, and anxiously awaiting seeing my first science-fiction romance in print.
I am planning a trip to Houston to chase more male models around.
I am planning a dress for my date with Fabio.
And I am wearing hoops.
Woman of a certain age indeed!
Rewrite that copy guys - I ain't goin' anywhere soon.