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| Sunday November 26 Day before yesterday my younger son became fully lucid - knew everything, understood what had happened and was pissed about it. He asked me what I had missed (I had told him daily but this was while he was drugged and now the drug level is reduced). I told him - everything. Troy won, I sponsored him, I did the ads, I fronted the money for the calendar, etc. and I did not get to see the result nor did I get to parties. Parties are necessary sometimes - all work and no play and all that. He was upset that I missed everything - I reminded him that my baby was unconscious and needed me and there was no option. I reminded him that I have been to hell and back over the past 10 days. He did not want to be reminded of that. He also did not want me sleeping over (hard on my back and hips) but demanded that I resume the previous schedule - come in the afternoon and stay until 11 and go home to sleep. Allows me to go to work. Allows me to sleep in my bed. Allows the house to get used, the animals to be fed, and me to go to the office. Normalcy - at least as we know it - will resume now. The little dictator has decreed it. So I tried it - I kind of stumble around the house like a stranger. I did pack up the QVC submission and the Barnes & Noble submission and the on-line Barnes & Noble submission. I packed up an order for Amazon.com (7 calendars). I shopped - I am getting the blue willow dishes from Albertson's - expensive. Especially since they NEVER have the dish on special. Service for two with all the serving pieces. Because I am a Regency nut and this is an old English pattern. I have loved it all my life. So I am indulging. I got a turkey - it was free with all my coupons - a 22lbs thing I stuck in the freezer - just had to remove the ice cubes. I went to Longs - I now have both the Cookie Monster and the Elmo stockings - they are adorable. Hunting for the grouch and maybe the count. My younger son loved the count. I love Miss Piggy. My older son loved the cookie monster. I have them hung in the hospital with garlands and bows. They are not too expensive (about $15.00) and the best I've seen. My boys were raised on Sesame Street. We just had a fire drill while my son lays snoring and I watch multiple copies of the Christmas Carol. I collect versions. If they are not too off the true story. George C Clark (1984). Alstair Sim (1951) color version and black and white version. Albert Finney (1970) musical. The Muppets version with Michael Caine (1993). Reginald Owens (1938). There were eight versions by 1955. I've seen 1-2 others - seeking them. Somewhere on Beta I have Henry Winkler's version (reset time period). There's Scrooged (way different take on it). There's a new one - a Diva's Christmas Carol - that sounds weird. And there is a new version with Patrick Stuart. And Mickey's Christmas Carol (short). And the Flintstones version (ugh!). We also have the Nightmere Before Christmas. Several versions of Miracle on 34th Street. Home for the Holidays - hilarious. The Santa Clause - with Tool Time man himself - great! And Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation - also classic. Love the cat. There's another one - story of Santa Clause - or two - I collect Christmas movies would be a better statement. We start at Thanksgiving and watch them until Christmas. I have the cartoons - Rudolph, etc - except that we are totally tired of them! Jingle All the Way - well - it's interesting but not great. Of course there's Lethal Weapon - the version I just watched on cable had added scenes! And Die Hard I. Anything set at Christmas. Of course the holidays are excuses to watch all my Austin PBS productions (Pride and Prejudice (3 versions), Emma (3 versions), Mansfield Park (have one seen the other), Northranger Abbey (1 version), Sense and Sensibility (2 versions). And Jane Aire (2 versions at least). My favorite being the one with Timothy Dalton - I want to crawl into the TV and just hold him in the scene where Jane leaves him - powerful! I also read - I just ran to Barnes&Noble and bought every Regency I could find - about 20 of them - backed for four months! I read about 1 a day. I LOVE them. I've been suffering withdrawal. I WAS going to go on a wild shopping spree at the bookfaire but since I didn't get there....... I also hunt for P. D. James, Martha Grimes, Hillerman, Anne Perry. I keep those too. To which I now add Cathrine Coulter (uneven but interesting). And the Medical Examiner series - I don't like her books without Scarpetta. I also like the A&E Mysteries to Die for series and Mystery and Masterpiece theatre on PBS. I make out because of where I live - I get three PBS stations! The first time the original Pride and Prejudice aired - back in the early 198-'s - I would watch each episode 6 times - all the three stations. Loved that Darcy. Love the new one even more! The later version had more of Darcy's story in it. I even have the B&W film made with the characters costumed as if they were 1860 southern belles - the hoops and mutton sleeves - totally wrong costumes for the time period! Funny anyway. Oh yes, the fire drill. Not a drill. But no evacuation. But I did learn something. My son - the least mobile - will be the last one they try to get out! Try telling that to a mother! Especially this one! I informed them that should I be there, I will pick him up and take him out myself! (Down the stairs.) I understand the logic - maximize the number saved. OK - let's get this kid ambulatory! And get me back in the gym (played hooky this morning.) He held down water tonight - at least so far tonight. First day I have seen water stay down for any length of time. A full week plus now he has been conscious but his insides are not fully functioning. The bowels work. The lungs are fine. But he throws up green bile - which means it is going the wrong way. No obstruction - just not functioning right due to the heavy medications. He is on lower amounts of the drugs now. And we see yawning. Yawning is a sign of withdrawal. So are trembling, confusion, hallucination. We are seeing less and less of the symptoms. And he is more and more alert. But he still sleeps a lot. And I sit here - my back screaming from the hard chair (or my hips screaming from the hard bench - foam pad or no). Because I cannot leave until 11PM. He said so. I have 6-8 weeks total - this is week three - of this routine. Then we can be back to the walker and having him home. And hopefully, going in once a week for tests until the next heavy chemo. And we haven't even started radiation. The only consolation - he looks like the heavier TPN has allowed him to gain some weight back. He looks better. He talks better. Far cry from the situation November 10th. Far cry. |
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