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December 20, 2001
I want my tree!!!
I cleaned a space for it!!!!
Took 8 hours of cleaning last week.
It's important because I had no tree last year.
I just need to find the tree stand - need to be home
from work before it drops to 30 degrees so I can look - because I can't
possibly figure out a coat (own about 14) or mittens (ditto).
It is terribly cold here this year. The jet stream
is dipping above us - the dip that is usually in the middle of the country.
My son refuses to get out of bed (his back hurts)
so I skipped all holiday parties.
We have one tomorrow but----. But then, we normally
do not do holiday parties. Our party is I stay home from work and bake
(or burn) cookies, make bread (real homemade bread) we go to the movies,
in San Diego we would go to Sea World. the zoo and the Wild Animal Park,
and of course, the malls - to see decorations.
After a bit of a rest, after the 6 miles training
walk that should have been a 9 miles fast walk, I went and got a tree.
The lot is near the grocery store and I was out of food. I had to go out.
My son wanted no fuss this year - he wanted a small
tree. No higher than my forehead - or less.
Before I went out he said, "No big heavy tree this
year".
He's down sizing, because he used to carry the tree
in for me. And my sons (both) have done that for several years now. There
is no one to carry it for me this year. He knows this. He just doesn't
mention it. Of course the fact that I turn 60 in a few weeks is also a
factor.
Well, I got one (a tree) that almost hits the ceiling
($46). Brought it home in the new truck.
I am trying to keep it from pitching over at the
moment (tied it to the ceiling). I have been known to nail them to the
ceiling beams. Works for me!
It had a hummingbird's nest in it - I left it there.
I was lugging it through the side gate of the newly
repaired fence in a mild rain (the fence had tipped over in one other
storm) and tapped on his window as I was going by - feeling proud of myself
- and hefting the tree inch by inch to the backyard. He popped up in his
bed and said (through the window), "What part of the conversation did
you miss?"
But he was grinning - the little shit. He has this
little smirk.
He refuses to leave his bed - and a 240lb kid is
hard to lift.
I shoved the tree in the tree stand I had found earlier
(in the back of the storage shed) and had hosed down, dislodging two years
worth of spiders. I cranked the screws - using a pair of pliers and then
used a screwdriver to torque the bolts into the tree.
It stands. I dragged it into the house.
It is crushed against the sliding door - as far as
I was able to move it.
I should probably move it into the room a bit more.
Tomorrow. Maybe.
AT&T showed up in the middle of my tree playing and
wants to switch me (my phone) to fiber optics - OK, I signed up. I'm barefoot
and in a long flannel robe/dress thing - bra-less - no makeup. In short,
a mess. He is bemused. (Not bad looking either.)
Told the guy I was too tired to do much - want no
features - two lines in the house (had to go figure out my son's phone
number) - no one (stranger) allowed in the house. (Neutropenic kids cannot
have company.)
It should lower the phone bill - which sold me -
maybe help internet communication - maybe be faster. A 56K modem and I
get .6K download rates!
And then HE had to come in to make a call
- because he had no cell phone. He asked me for mine! I do not like them.
I do not have one. The only pager the hospital ever got on me did not
work. Do not trust them. Not until they get all those fake cell phone
towers built - the ones that look like trees or cactus.
Oh well - the tree was now listing to the side. I
screwed it tighter at the bottom and put water in the stand. The screwing
part (the bolts into the tree that is) is also usually done by one of
the boys.
It is still wobbly. But won't be falling anywhere.
I may go bend a coat hanger if I can find an old wire one and use it.
Done that before too. For now-----
Of course if I had sawed off branches, it would not
have been wobbly. If they had done that at the tree place, it would not
be wobbly. If I had thought to bring the stand along, you get the idea.
The tree just misses the beam so I can't nail the
puppy up. Shucks. So I used the turkey string you get with a turkey -
it was lying around the sink having failed to get tossed at Thanksgiving)
and tied it up anyway. The tree now hangs from the heavy drapery rod.
I will put lights on today - or tomorrow. I have
new ones - LED and other low-level lights. Neat. Lower the power bill.
The angel I bought for the yard (because I am refusing
to climb on the roof this year) is fine - she ran all night the first
night up - I shall go unplug her now. She is about 4' tall and her wings
open and close. $99. Lights up the street! I now consider that the outside
of my house is decorated.
I put some balls on the tree before opening the boxes
of lights (300 of them) - the balls that I had hung on the IV poles last
year. They got to be hung first because they were in the dining cabinet
and handy.
We are still out of sync having missed every holiday
for a year. My son missed every holiday from July 2000 to February 2001
- while he was in the hospital. He was home for three weeks in October
but they took him in on Halloween - even though I tried to fight it off
a day. And then he had that spider bite on July 4th 2001. Thanksgiving
we were to tired to do much having caught colds coming home from the Romantic
Times Convention in Florida. So Christmas is important.
Even though they have all of their big presents already.
G4 Titanium laptops. I have my truck.
I don't know where my decorations are. Probably in
the attic.
And it's too cold to go up there. With my thyroid
medication reduced, I am sensitive to cold.
Tomorrow. Or the next day. I decorate one thing a
day - slowly. Takes a week to finish the tree and it stays up as long
as it's drinking. I have, also somewhere, several tree skirts. I also
drape them on piano benches. Every year I had a tradition of making something
for the house. A throw. A treee skirt. Wreathes. Ornaments. Latch-hooked
pillows. I have boxes and boxes stuffed somewhere. My living room in San
Diego was a beautiful place to decorate. We had stuffed ornaments that
hung on the starway banister. We wove garlands around them. I have done
almost nothing since coming to Northern California. There is so much less
house to decorate. I day-dream about returning to San Diego - and warmth!
OR a farmhouse out in Julian - where I want to go eventually so I can
grow apples and tomatoes.
My Tree-top angel sits in the middle of the tree
- I haven't felt like climbing the ladder to put her on top yet. She's
the doll I rescued from a cake in the dump on the day I drove out of Connecticut.
June 1964. She needs new hair. She wears a dress made from scraps from
my wedding dress. First wedding. Kept the dress. Ditched the husband.
I slept heavy after that 6 mile training walk - that
sleep where you do not move and wake up with your ear all numb.
I hung a cabinet (little one) in my son's bathroom
- to hide his shaving stuff. He shaves once in awhile. His bathroom is
pristine. I scrubbed it so. I am timing its destruction.
I started on my bathroom and bedroom - partially.
But fagged out. At Christmas I take 2 weeks off and clean house. It's
been two years. (I mean that clean-everything-that-you-skim-over-in-other-cleanings
cleaning.) I try for one room a day or one project a day. I am on vacation.
I will also, I promise myself, hang a new mailbox.
I retreated to the couch after thinking about all
this activity, read a book all the rest of the day and watched Persuasion
again - love that movie.
It's time for cuddly blankets, candles, romance novels
and Jane Austin movies.
Comfort.
I am built for comfort, not for speed.
I'll put the tree lights up tomorrow.
My son hasn't left his bed.
No body to see.
I can be lazy.
Just a tad.
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