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February 14, 2001
I went to work today
- very upset because we had to cancel rehab for my younger son - he was
tired and pale.
He had a blood transfusion - platelets - yesterday.
He also threw up yesterday - reaction to the
blood. His throat closed up and he flushed and we had nurses and doctors
stepping and fetching.
More Benadryl. And he had taken the premeds.
This morning, he is dizzy and has no stamina.
Low counts. We put off chemo - we are trying to balance chemo against
his falling down so far with his counts. Neutropinic is not a good thing.
He can get sick. No thank you! Had enough of that stuff!
I bathed him - a fast wash down in the shower.
I redressed the insertion point - it was seeping.
Bears watching.
I settled him into his room.
I left food for him - bagels and peanut butter
and a table knife.
Three sodas.
Water.
Chips and beef jerky.
All within reach.
He had only picked at the shredded wheat breakfast.
(They told me to give him fiber).
He didn't want eggs. (He had three with cheese
yesterday for breakfast - and a piece of toast. He only eats Cinnamon
toast.)
He had Gatorade by the quart.
He wanted Cup O'Noodles - too much salt and
I don't know where any are in the house at the moment. He thought he could
fix one of those if he got desperate.
There's enough food in his bedroom to keep
a family of five for a week.
I went in to work thinking, "I am a bad Mommy."
What if he falls? He tells me he'll crawl
or just stay on the floor until I get home.
Now there's a thought.
A 6'2" 207lb naked kid on the floor with his
feet and hands in the air - "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Just what I need to visualize as I race at
1 mph through the rush-hour traffic jam to get to work.
Note that it does not matter when you leave
my house in the morning - you will be in a traffic jam.
I needed to see my manager - touch base -
see what on earth I am doing, etc., etc.
I needed to draft the template designs.
I needed to download a new course - Intro
to Static Timing Analysis with PrimeTime because I will be WBT-ing (excuse
me, eLearning - versioning it).
Zip disk loaded, I hurried to come home at
2PM - the freeway was another nightmare. Seems some little sporty number
had wapped a fence and ended up in a ditch - and we all pause to watch
it get towed. Oh, of course we do!
That did not explain 237 East being a parking
lot at 2PM. It did explain the first section of 880 being one. But it
remained crowded all the way to Fremont.
I shivered. There is snow along all the hill-tops
- not mountains, hills. And It's never been there for a whole day before
since I moved up here.
Bad sign.
It took an hour to get home and then I raced
in.
He was still in bed.
Oh good!
But just a moment here......
The stuffed baby bull doll was on the floor.
Wait a minute - that was sitting in a Christmas
stocking.
The one full of candy.
Across the room.
I look.
There is one bagel left.
The peanut butter has been invaded.
The beef jerky is gone.
The huge bag of chips nearly so.
Ditto soda.
He is clutching a Pez dispenser - he doesn't
like the candy - but he is eating it anyway.
I am informed that my kitchen needs help (thank
God I vacuumed this morning!).
He had walked out - naked - to check the fridge.
(Chemo patients hate clothes because they can't stand being touched. I
have all I can do to keep him under a sheet.)
The cheese was too old.
The soup on the stove - which I set up for
him - pop top and a bowl for the microwave - was ignored.
Ditto the pre-cooked chicken breasts.
He ignored the microwave popcorn - he had
a bag at 10PM last night.
He did note that the Pasta Anytime was there.
- Takes 3 minutes in the microwave.
He ordered that right away. A big plate of
pasta with tomato and cheese sauce.
The steak he'll have later. Big steak. Big
dinner-plate salad. Probably followed by popcorn. He ate the Haagen Dazs
already.
I need to go shopping - he's gone through
$200.00 worth of groceries in four days.
The doctors are laughing about this.
I threw some more of those break-apart choc
chip cookies into the oven.
Quick.
Before he starts gnawing on me!
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