Diet Diary - Day 11

April 29, 2002
      Day 11 Friday April 26, 2002 Interview Day Disasters - No Job is Worth This!

      and I got up at 6:30AM after dozing on and off from 6:00AM, when the alarm went off. It was cold. Of course, around 1:30AM I had woken up, slipped out of my flannel nightgown because I was drenched in sweat as the feather comforter combined with the thinner poly one gets too heavy. (I knew that.) I was now in a thinner nightgown and had been sleeping under just the thin poly one, which, since the house is warm this time of year, is usually enough. But the weather in Northern California is a mess. And I can't breath. My sinuses are draining from one side to the other as I roll from side to side tying for comfort. I am rubbing my eyes. I have an earache. Allergies. Weather change. Ugh! I stumble for coffee. I had slept fairly well, 11 to 6, with fitful awakening as my hips hurt again. If I would sleep on my back, I would be fine. Somehow I can only do that on the couch. That big soft couch back that I can lean against is somehow soothing.
     
      I have some paper work to do before I leave for a job interview (does paperwork ever end?) and then must shower, wash my hair and find suitable clothes. Hopefully, I will be awake as the decaf kicks in. It is dark out, I just realize. That does not help. I like to be curled in a ball and warm when it is dark. I suspect I am one of those people who need that light box shinning in their face several hours a day, the one that emulates sunlight.
     
      OK - In Bridget Jones #2, which I just read, she goes to a party with Mr. Darcy all dressed up and in a girdle (a pull-on elastic tube). Then, during dinner, the thing rolls up from each end and becomes a solid spare tire around her waist.
     
      Keep this in mind.
     
      I get up - and immediately have blatant intestinal distress - what's with that? Nerves? Hysteria? The hypothermia from last night? Too much whole wheat? Allergies? I gobble two pills (Rx) and two Imodium AD Plus and two Tagamet over the next two hours while I wrote out the Job Application form.
     
      Now - I have no clue on this earth what my GPAs of 30 years ago were. They had to be >3.0 or you don't get into graduate school! I also have no clue what DAY I started at any company - I am lucky to remember the year. (I actually started work on April 20th several times. Weird. But I no longer remember which company was which.) And as for salary? I never pay much attention as long as the initial offer is reasonable and I have extra to spend. Tracking all that is what I pay a CPA for. I had the data for Synopsys only because they gave me a sheet that I am was using to file unemployment so I still knew where it was.
     
      OK - emails in all directions. Permission. And then ask for phone numbers. People's titles. I don't pay attention to all that stuff either! All right - I have enough data. Time to eat something (which was probably a mistake) and take a bath. Why to people call you when you are naked in the shower? Wrong numbers? Telemarketing?
     
      I shaved my legs, something I hadn't done in awhile. I only cut myself twice. I tweezed my eyebrows to keep them thin as per the new design. I wrapped in a towel and found underwear (that is a good thing) and found I had pantyhose that I had worn before (therefore would come up above my knees) and my new bra-height girdle handy on a hook. The girdle was not too tight. And perhaps was a tad loose. I use it to keep the pantyhose from rolling down off my overweight belly. I had my slip hanging where I had put it last. It is black. Because I will be wearing a black dress. The brand new black dress from Susan Gravor on QVC, Ponte Knit, long and sleeveless. And - ah! I will wear the duster-length black sweater with it and wrap pearls around my throat and ears. Not too formal. (Softer looking than a tailored jacket.) Professional and not too done up. I found black high-heels (sensible high heels) that I had forgotten I had just bought back in the Easy Spirit shoe-buying blitz. Cool.
     
      In partial attire (slip and pantyhose), and with Retina and skin bleach smeared on my face, I fixed eggs and toast for the kid. I had had one egg and toast and coffee myself, and all my pills. I ripped off the Estrogen patch. (Time to do that.) I gave the kid his breakfast, shook him awake (it is now 10AM) and put out a drink and the 2 pills. This is Prednezone week and we are on the taper.
     
      I went back into my bathroom to find my face. I am learning to wear the new makeup from the make-up design session. I touch and fiddle. I decide on 8-hour lipstick (leaves your lips D-R-Y) and smear wet stuff on top. I use an eyeliner and put the new dark shadow on top. Too dark but too late. I get mascara on without smearing it all over my face. My new blush is a tad too dark so I rub it with a towel. Sigh. I am out of practice. I put on my new dress (lovely) and blew my hair dry - it is scrunched and short (from the hair color and cut). I am learning to do that too. I added the sweater and the pearls and earrings.
     
      I checked with the kid. He said, "What's the last time you wore gray? You're in black!" Oh that's good. I'm busy looking professional, he's shutting me down. I don't own any gray. I'll check QVC when I get home. I love these swing dresses. You add a big shirt (I have a lot of them) and you have an "outfit". Easy dressing.
     
      I am ready. I drive down 880 (routine) and I am supposed to get off at Montague Expressway. Instead I blink and I have turned onto 237 West which is called rote driving. I am headed back to Synopsys! I got off at Zanker and got back on 237 going the other way. I missed the 880 South that is under construction and is hidden. OK. So I will drive further East and go down Warm Springs. Except that Warm Springs is Milipitas Ave at that point. I had forgotten that. So I missed that turn. I U-Turn and go back toward the 880. I missed that exit for 880 South because it is also under construction. Exasperated, I get off the 237 again and came around and get back on and notice this time that there is a little turn to the right just past the framed concrete siding, and no sign. I turn and go south. And, yes! This is the 880! Hallelujah!
     
      OK. I know this. It's been a few years but I should be able to do this. I got off at Montague Expressway. And I thought, the turn is immediately on the right. Where? Where? There were construction trucks on the right. So I went to the left to go on Trimble because I somehow remembered Trimble was in there. (It was on the Yahoo map.) Ooops. Just as I got over to the far left (and this is a 5-6 lane street), I see the turn on the right (which looks different than I remembered it) just past the construction trucks.
      OK. I get back right and avoid fanning off to Trimble where the road splits. I drive around and there is a back way in if I recall. I managed to turn on Red Oak or something and drove down and voila, I see the company, but not the building. I creep down the street following signs. I found it. The target building is in the back of the lot but not all the way back. But parking goes all the way back. So I park way in the back and sit and collect my now scattered wits. The truck will be fine. There is space around it.
     
      I sip water and check my make up, not that I can change it now. I am committed. Or I should be committed. (In the next car, another woman is fixing her make-up. Back lots are good for that.) I take a deep breath and walk in. I go past one building and manage to find the lobby of the building I am due to be in. I am a few minutes early. I check in and sit and read something while I wait. I am here. I am dressed and my stomach is quiet.
     
      Later, when I took a break near the end of this, I stood up and realized that the top of the pantyhose had rolled itself down into a round spare tire around my hips because the girdle was not tight enough to keep it in check. I flashed on the Bridget Jones story. I took a restroom break and put the pantyhose back where they belonged. Oh well. I tried. Back to knee-highs or why I like long dresses.
     
      I also discovered that my website address was MISTYPED on the job application. I did that! Egad! So I mentioned it. Actually, their editor had already found it. (Now that IS funny!) I am a dyslexic typist. And it seems to be getting worse as I age!
     
      Now, I am home and will indulge in making Tapioca pudding for me (boiled milk settles things) and boiled chicken for the kid for supper. And read more of my P. D. James mystery novel.
     
      Oblivion. I desire oblivion.
     
      My Zoom modem does its level best to give it to me, refusing to connect me to the internet until I restart four times and run TechTools on the G4 hard drive. I am restrained. I haven't taken a sledgehammer to this beast as yet. Soon. I am contemplating having an Apple internal modem retrofitted into the G4 minitower. At which point, the Zoom modem is doomed.
     
      The kid is laughing hysterically.
     
      I take comfort in the fact this in mystery night, if the PBS auction is not running. And if it is, I will simply read until Law & Order comes on. So there.
     
      People came. I am an addict. So I watched Mystery on PBS and read People. (Mystery was a repeat.) Then I zapped frozen sorbet in the microwave, something my son has not mastered. Served him same. I had a piece of bread with Smart Balance on it. I think I will have some decaf.