Estrogen Patch

July 6, 2002
      Estrogen patches do not necessarily stay stuck on your butt.
      They are supposed to.
      But I lose about one a month.
      It simply alls off!
      I found one stuck to my foot (from where it fell on the bathroom floor).
      I found on falling out of my underwear, all wadded up in a ball.
      One just did not bother to stick at all - falling off as soon as applied.
      And the second one lasted 24 hours - slipping off my body in the tub, and refusing to get back on.
      Others have survived a hot bath (you press them on when out of the tub and hold them there and they "restick").
      They have survived showers and hot tubs.
      It depends on the patch.
      There should not be that much variety in the stickiness of the things!
      And of course, it leaves those little adhesive rings on your butt when it does stick.
      I made the mistake of rubbing one ring off too hard - took skin with it.
      I am trying hard not to do that!
      "On Estrogen?"
      "Oh yeah, you can tell from the red circles on my backside!"
      You just know a man developed this!
      And the effect that it has.
      I start out feeling thin (and am in fact unbloated) on the 1st of the month. Start day. And I feel like nesting and clean the house in mad bursts of energy. I've been known to resculp the back yeard in four hours.
      By the 8th, I am feeling romantically inclined. (Fabio is in a lot of trouble if my son elects not to ride in the limo-----)
      By the 15th, I am downright dangerous! Table legs start to look good. Plus I now start the Progesterone pills.
      By the 20th, it is time for dark chocolate, red wine and my son hides in his room. Extra food is required. Either that or double-reps at the gym. My IRC chat room name is the Hawk - set by my sons - because I "stay in one spot and screech". Cute kids.
      By the 25th, I am bloated and crabby and it is the last day on pills and patch. I am 8-10 pounds heavier and generally pissed off.
      Then there is the 5-day on the rag scenario when I cannot get to the gym, and would prefer to lay in bed, feet up, reading.
      Just remember, when you feel like killing something, demand attention or chocolate, that we are entitled to this catering to our needs and whims since it was the guys who invented this little patch from hell.