2002 Story Set
| August 2, 2002 I few years ago, I had hot flashes so bad I would wake up drenched. I had suffered these things once in awhile for years. Now I was having them every night - unless it was cold. Then I was able to sleep in peace. As my stepmother once said, when it was cold, she would lay there huddled under the blankets waiting for the hot-flash to warm her up! In my case, while I tried every year to be tested for menopause (and no luck), I installed an air conditioner over my bed. I would wake up hot, that wet sheen all over your body, your hair even soaked, and flip the switch. It was one that could override temperatures and came on with cool air. I would then cool down and go back to sleep. If I turned it on early, I slept through the night. I kept my hair short just in case. The tenants in the house have the airconditioner draped shut. I think the tenants were all too young to need the support. I can't wait to move back into that house (retirement - no more than 9 years away regardless). I have no room airconditioner in the bedroom here. Always meant to get one. But then, always meant to move, which shows how plans get interrupted. I have been on HRT we think about 10 years. (Changed doctors three times.) And I will have to get off it in another two years. Whoa! They never told me that before! And right after my doctor said this---- they decided we all should just get off it. And there is no alternative. Now, I do the 25-days Estrogen, 10-days progesterone, 5 days suffer routine. Which means that I still buy tampons. I have night sweats and hot flashes during those 5 days. It's why I did not allow the Fabio date to be set up at the end of the month - as they had requested. The golden boy would not have survived! I can have a hot flash if I sip wine (I turn red at once), eat spicy food - really spicy, and drink real coffee in any quantity. Sometimes decaf will set me off. So does tea. Hence, it is the caffeine. Also chocolate. Those few days I have hot flashes in the night, I soak my nightgown, my pillow, my hair (which is thick and long and hard to wash in the morning before work). Now they want me to have this every night? I lift heavy weights. I have strong bones. Now they want me to develop osteoporosis? Because weights and calcium alone doesn't stop it. I have good skin for 60. I just need my eyes peeled. Now they want me to have wrinkles? Sagging jaw? Pouchy eyes? Faster than I am getting them? Make more work for the plastic surgeons? Say, "New BMW". Not for me. And there are other parts of your body that fail. Loss of muscle tone can put you in Pampers. They call the big ones Depends. Or sent you back to the surgeon who specializes in that end. Actually, having a baby or two will send you there as well. I have been putting that adventure off. The repair not the babies. But if it gets any worse---- I will have things stitched back up (they put a stitch in to take up the slack that aging sphincters exhibit). More money for surgeons. Other muscles that deteriorate are those ones pumping blood all around your system. And then there is the elasticity in your veins. Excuse me. Who did this study that HRT was bad for everyone? What were the controls? They recommend tofu. Tried that. Soy. Tried that. Some natural herb from Africa. Which another group says doesn't work. They say natural estrogen. Orange juice. Walnuts. Tried that. We already know what happens when my estrogen is low. It's how I got to lift 300 lbs. It's why a women at work said I had huge muscles. My son nods in agreement. I lifted him, didn't I? I pushed the wheelchair for 18 months. I did the one-handed lift on the wheelchair into the back of the truck. I have arms. They say that Premarin does more harm than good. Oh yeah? They say strokes, breast cancer, heart attack. Loss of elasticity in your veins will cause stroke. Breast cancer will hit you if your family has a pattern. Breast cancer is gene-related. Anything that help that exhibit its presence is not a good idea. But I have no family members with breast cancer. Fiber-cystic breasts yes. But no cancer. (That means we have big heavy breasts, which is why I had mine reduced.) I also breast-fed - which reduces the possibility of breast cancer. I have read the term "hot flashes from hell". Well, that about sums them up. They put thermometers on women and saw a 6-8 degree swing. Anti-inflammatory drugs help. Push the blood back where it belongs. I am being told that my symptoms are "normal" and I should suffer through them and age. This by the same people who tell us that we must work until our 70s before we can retire. We must reach 65 for even minimal benefits. And companies don't want old-looking women in their midst. Emotional upheaval is not fun either. Ask my son for his reaction to PMS once they put me on the patch! It was bad the first month - when my body had been starving for estrogen for a few months before discovered! Give me wine and chocolate and no one will die! It's a joke for a few days, it would not be if it went on and on. So they have PROZAC, which does WAY more harm than good and XANAX, which puts you out of commission. Of course. It's the old Valium school of medication. Woman has problem - any problem - drug her. I'd rather take the estrogen. And then there is the "thinning skin". It affect your face, your neck, your chest, your hands and feet. Liquid nitrogen gets the big brown spots. Peels and laser resurfacing help rebuild. They do hands and feet now. Hmmmmm. How about after the facial touchup? Eye peel. (Beat back the wrinkles. Already use Retinin A) Liposuction on the chin. (It's trying to sag a little bit. Again. The extra weight.) Botox. (I've been accused of "frowning" too much at work - last job. SOBs couldn't handle frown lines.) Tattooed eye liner. Tattooed lips. (So I stop scaring myself in the morning.) And the next step - find the drug that tells the estrogen that it does not have to store up fat for the "baby" to live on. Because we would all like our waistlines back. That's one sacrifice I resent. The higher estrogen levels put 3" on my waist while I was dieting! Guess I'd better start using the AB-doer we are using as a chair. |
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