2002 Story Set
| August 15, 2002 Which delights him no end as he watches the nurses' jaws drop when he tells them this. "I would not believe it but seeing how it's you two...." Team in Training has caught on that a bachelor-bachelorette auction is a great fundraiser. Oh yeah. So of course I drag myself out of work 15 minutes early and race home, switch cars, check Yahoo for a map, and hook the kid. We are off. But first, a word from the gas tank. Both the truck (which came home on fumes) and the Van are on empty. And this is a place off University Drive where the tight-turning van is useful for parking. I get gas and find the windshield. Since the van is due in, it has run out of fluid. We get there just before the start, land in chairs near the door. We wait. We watch. I am trying a silent bid for personnel training. The MC is having way too much fun. She has done this before. She is lifting shirts to show off washboard abs, six-pacs like you haven't seen on some very well trained young athletes. The crowd encourages buttons being opened. The crowd is so rowdy that they embarrasses a cop. A motorcycle cop who was being auctioned. He wears boots. How high, she asks? Tall boots. Oh yeah! He rides a bike. A big bike. A Harley. Even better. At $175, buttons must open. He is shy! They flash his chest. The woman who did this before, has obtained a bunch of one dollar bills. She tucks them into waistbands. The guys tuck them into shirt fronts. The cop backs off when she come after him. Turns out, he is riding loose. No underwear! This leads to a great deal of hilarity. They have announced this over the mike. He rebuttons frantically. He is scarlet and drops under the podium. Actually he is tall and cute and he can ride me anytime! Excuse me, ride me around on his Harley I meant! The MC pats (or rubs) the flat bellies of the contestants. One guy nearly sank into the floor If you didn't "perform" you did not get a high bid. Even our cook had stood up there with a rolling pin. And offered to do things with it. Other then cook. The women wriggle and offer dinner and---- One offered a lap dance and a thong was involved. Somehow. We bid. There were four cute young things offering a barbeque. We bid. There was someone to clean your car. Oh yeah! I bid on that. I had a light beer. I shouted with the rest of them. "Loose the shirt!" My son slid under the table. He tried to keep me quiet. No way! Abs. Arms. Butts. As drinking continued, bids got wilder. They offer dinners, picnics, wine tasting, home cooked meals, car washes. One team of 13 ladies offered to wash 6 cars, possibly topless - they got $1700. (No - topless was not allowed) We won and bought, for $225, a Raviloli dinner. We also won and bought (actually we were just drive up his bid - as we were doing all night) the guy from last year - and will go to the Giant's game -- again -- if there is no strike! We missed out on the four girls with the barbeque - we did try. And we missed out on the lap dance----- I missed the trainer - because there was another "hoverer" - who the next day admitted that he had "had too much wine". Yes, he did. A few people, who had never been to one of these wild events, suddenly understood how I ended up paying $16,000 for Fabio (Make a Wish Foundation Little Rock Auction). And $5,000 two years ago (Big Brothers LA auction). I was beat when we left. The beer - the long hours - the driving - and I had missed the gym on this Wednesday AM. Is this the same day??? I had a hard time keeping from driving off the Dunbarton right into the Bay - because I wanted sleep!!!! And tomorrow is another chemo day. I will capture the barcolounger and nap! Oh yes. They raised over $8,000 for the Leukemia Society. |
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