'Twas the day before Christmas---

Date: December 24, 2002

      'Twas the day before Christmas and all thru the house,
      not a gift was gift-wrapped and my son's sleeping, the louse!
      My hair is all wet with a red Christmas dye,
      and I must to the gym before it is dry.
      The Visa is hiding and needs to be paid,
      and a last minute shopping trip just must be made.
      I am out of coffee, real stuff I need,
      to help keep me upright as I rush to the deed.
      A diet is looming and actually hip-deep,
      so lots of good cooking will just have to keep.
      A couple of turkey breasts will make up the roast,
      and a left-over turkey leg will be waiting to toast.
      Left-over gravy and left-over stuffing
      will ensure that my kids will still get something.
      Cook up the big squashes that decorate the table,
      to ax-split them I hope that my son is just able.
      A fire outside in the mobile pit would be nice,
      left-over Christmas trees burn in a thrice.
      It's windy and cold and left-over damp,
      and all of that tread-milling gives me a cramp.
      I'd rather be curled up in bed with a book,
      but my son will wake up and give me that look.
      The nuts are not scooped now in bins at the store
      but come in bags and of course cost more.
      I tinsel the tree with that new-fandangled stuff
      that falls off and won't cling as it's smooth and not rough.
      I stop and make lists of things left to do,
      while the cat eats downed tinsel and barfs on my shoe.
      The sheep dog is in hiding lest I put her out,
      the cold and the wind will just make her pout.
      I race for fresh coffee, Starbuck's I tout,
      while one cat stays in and the other stays out.
      My older son's coming and wants Christmas bread,
      the failing of will power is something I dread.
      I need pumpkin pie for my younger son too,
      and my ex husband's coming so what can I do.
      Out to the mall I run like a flash,
      On Target, On Longs, On Ritz Photo fast.
      To stop it from wimpering, the Visa is first
      to the bank I do rush where the lines nearly burst.
      I want to pay Visa and faced with line,
      I patiently wait for it's moving just fine.
      But once I am up at the bank window so near,
      The deposits are still in my car, oh my dear.
      A slow stroll thru Target leads me to believe,
      they have no new DVDs for me to see.
      I can do rugs to match the new yellow wall,
      oranges and browns, all the colors of fall.
      A few new pillowcases, the king size I fear,
      leads me to believe that bed-changing is near.
      A new frying pan, my present I'll brook,
      for mornings are a hassle and I have to cook.
      A few padded pillows for chair sets are due,
      'cause sitting and typing my backside does rue.
      A few photo frames for my errant sons,
      and a photo of the red bear and the little one.
      Longs is too crowded for refills I fear,
      I'll just get my Claritin refilled next year.
      For a few stacking chairs, and some more wrapping paper,
      Office Deport is browsed in a sidelining caper.
      I browse for a printer, my birthday is near,
      and pick up two chairs to sit in my dear.
      A chair pad is welcome so my chair doesn't stick,
      the other one's broken and my bare feet does stick.
      Earphones and harddrives our presents do tend,
      it's hardware and gameware while he's on the mend.
      I will off to the bedroom now my bounty to wrap,
      and watch BBC while I'm dodging the cat.