2002 Story Set
| March 21, 2001 If you are a working mother, these little helpful hints could save you time and trouble: 1. If you are dressed up for a meeting in nylons and heels, you will snag your nylons. This is Murphy's Law. Always carry a spare pair of nylons or keep a spare pair in your desk drawer - the one where you keep snack food, perfume and a spare lipstick. Hard as Nails clear nail polish is also part of this emergency kit. 2. Never carry more than one spare pair of nylons, or you will snag more than one. This is also Murphy's Law. Something about having a pair and a spare never works. The last one available wears like iron. 3. When you clean out your purse, you will always forget to put in a spare lipstick and a pen. So carry a spare pen your car and keep another in your desk along with a lipstick. A few checks from your checkbook won't be amiss either for those days you are stuck without cash. 4. Always carry safety pins. When it's important that it does not, your slip will hang. We older women wear long skirts or pant suits for this reason. And because today's employers may not have had the forethought to put a full-length mirror in the ladies room. Find and use a reflective door if you work for one of these backward people. 5. The day you decide to diet, someone will have a cake and ice cream party or throw a lunch. Munch lettuce at the lunch and carry a diet coke to the cake party and help serve. They won't realize that you are not eating. 6. If you have been given an impossible deadline, dust off your resume. You should do this every 3 months anyway just for practice. 7. Keep spare tampons in your glove compartment. I am always curious as to what they think when I get the car serviced. Nylons, tampons, a heat-resistant lipstick and a spare pair of eyeglasses (older prescription for emergency use) reside next to the car service booklet. 8. Everything you wear to work should be washable and quick-drying. Because the baby will leak something or spill something on you at least once in your life and you will be forced to wash out a blouse in the sick, wring it with towels and dry it with the hand drying machine. 9. Keep a neutral-colored jacket or shawl thrown over your chair in the office, i.e., to cover damp blouses. 10. Keep a can of Static Cling handy at home and work. Those sexy long pants in that fancy knit fabric will stick like pajamas else. Not quite what you had in mind. 11. Keep a roll of toilet tissue, a box of Kleenex and a tube of sun block in your car. You never know. 12. Keep a bottle of hand lotion at your desk. It will also help tame static electricity when you run out of Static Guard. 13. Staple errant hems with the prongs facing out so you do not further damage yourself. Scotch tape, especially the double-sided kind, works well, but together they will assure that you really can make it through the day with a dragging hem. 14. The one day you park close to the office, someone will hit your car and drive off without leaving a note. Expect it. 15. For important days when you really, really have to get to work on time or even early, set more than one alarm clock and make one wind-up or battery driven. Because the power will go out. 16. If you think you are smarter than your boss, dust off your resume. You probably are and he or she probably knows it and hates you. 17. Take classes in something once a year. If you hear of a new trend, read up on it, get trained in it (if a skill is required) and stay ahead of the pack. Eventually everybody will hate you., so dust off your resume. 18. Keep a spare pair of shoes or at least a pair of good sneakers in your car or even in your desk drawer. The day you wear in a new pair of shoes and your feet wish to explode by noon, you will have back-up. Painful feet make us scowl and everybody will think that you hate them. If you didn't do this and your feet hurt, go about in your stocking feet. However, be forewarned, men think that this is sexy and have trouble containing themselves. 19. Keep a small spray can of anti-persperant and a travel-sized can of powder (Shower-to-Shower for example) in your desk. When the airconditioner fails, or there is a rolling power blackout in midsummer, you will be prepared. The powder will also help on days your shoes are giving you trouble. 20. Anti-persperant sprayed on your feet will keep them happy in hot weather. Helps for tight shoes too. 21. Wear a wedding ring if you are not married at the moment. It won't keep all of them at bay but it will keep a lot of them off-center. 22. Put a blow-up photo of yourself an Fabio (or another equally good-looking hunk) on your desk and smile enigmatically when the office flirt comes around. It will throw him off for a little while at least. 23. Never wear skirts shorter than below the knee - the short skirts don't do well when you are sitting at a computer. 24. Keep a smallish notebook in your purse at all times - for note taking and shopping lists. 25. Don't keep crayons in your car at any time. They melt. Washable markers can be safely stored. 26. Find another woman who gets her car serviced where you do and work out a schedule so you are never stranded at the garage. 27. Send yourself a small bouquet of flowers once in awhile. This will also help keep the office wolves at bay and make you feel good besides. 28. Smile. They will think that you know something. |
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