The Dress Is Selected

 January 19, 2002
        Anyway----put this in the strange events file-----
       I seem to have no patterns that fit my crazy shape --- I am simultaneously a size 16, 18 and 20, not necessarily in that order, and certainly have no deep green velvet to hand ---and everyone has decided that I will wear green -- so I went to the fabric store.
        There was only one bolt of green velvet - because the other green velvet was "spruce" -- too light and too blue-y.
       I stuck the bolt on the shopping cart and wheeled drunkenly (heavy bolt) through the store looking for where they hid the pattern tables.
        The bolt I choose is deep emerald green - so dark that it is almost almost black.
        So next ----
        I went hunting for a pattern.
        I went through every pattern book.
        I found three possibles in a half-dozen books in two hours.
        I want sleeves (old women have age spots - or freckles - I no longer tan evenly -- although my arms are firm they are large with muscles and my Estrogen is not stabilized yet so they won't be shrinking anytime soon).
        However, if I continue to fail to do my full routine at the gym, that might reduce them. Seems I am not eating enough - or so my younger son says. And that's why I get light-headed.
        What? 800 calories a day not enough? For an intense heavy metal workout?
        And I want a reasonable low neckline - Nolan Miller is on this weekend (and I shopped!!!! I will have a dress that costs less than $75 and jewelry five times that!) (Well, some of it I already had---)
        And not a fitted waist - I don't have a waist at the moment! So a draping empire waisted dress is perfect.
        One by one I would find a possible pattern and head for the bins.
        One by one I couldn't find the pattern or find it in my size. BUMMER!
        I found ONE pattern - in size 18-20-22 - and easy to adjust (I am 16W on top - muscles and a few extra pounds).
        ONE!!! The pattern is Vogue 9365.
       Velvet is $25/yd and it takes about 3 yds to make a long slender gown since it is 45" wide.
        Well --- low and behold - THIS particular bolt is damaged!!! Every three feet - a tear!!! Rips easy does this velvet!
       So---- I get it for half price!!!!
        I bought 3 1/2 yards just in case.
        Forest green is the zipper color - very close match.
        So - I have the fabric for THE DRESS!
        Is this for real?
        Meanwhile, back at the ranch---
        My younger son is waging war - a campaign of terror.
        "What is Fabio's good side?"
        "All sides." A pause 'Why" I am instantly on alert.
        "Where are we staying??"
        "You are NOT coming!!!"
        "OH Yeah! Well, HE'D better not!"
        (groan)
        "How long will we be there?"
        "You will NOT be there!"
        I slap his rump every time he does this - doesn't seem to have any effect whatsoever since the boy is well-padded. Just like his mother.
        Now he asks me, "Have you talked to Pepper yet?"
        "No", I say. "Why?"
        "Oh, I want to ask what filter I should use on Fabio!" giggle giggle
        Oh God!
        And I thought these boys had outgrown this!
        The older one hasn't been told----
        I can hardly wait!