2002 Story Set
| May 30, 2002 Well, I let myself down. I have not lost weight, I gained. I am less fit. I am a bloody mess. My hair is short. My waistline is missing in action. My nice tight chin is wobbling. So much for the chin lift. Made it - oh - about 8 years. They tell you 7-10. Of course, it would be better if I were not fat. So here I am, 4-6 weeks out from my date with Fabio and I still cannot force myself on a diet. The dress is still in pattern-fabric stage because I was waiting to see what size I got to. Well, I got to the same size I was when I bought the fabric. Size 18. Bloody hell! (Pardon me - been reading Regencies again) I think I have shoes. I certainly have some jewelry. I am to be interviewed. And photographed. I think I should swear again. So I had Medifast for breakfast and eggs and cheese and a cup of peanuts (dry roasted - compulsive) for lunch. So much for good intentions. I raked the back yard and hauled the container to the street. Full and clumsy and heavy. Matches me. I did the treadmill for 20 minutes last night and stopped because my knee is out. I am in a funk. Diet? I get HUNGRY! The fat cells demand attention! My sons tell me to eat five meals a day and work out. This works for MEN, not WOMEN! It has been PROVEN! I know this. I will now ignore them (my sons) and do what I think is best. If I can stop with the peanuts already. And the dark chocolate. I took my kid for his blood test (and he did shower) and the movies - About a Boy - because he made me watch The New Guy and I wanted to get even. About a Boy is a cute movie. The next movie will be violence and action to balance things out. I then came home to the horror of having to cook in a house that was heating up. I chose Medifast and microwave-heated coffee, decaf. I will fix him the XXX hot dogs for supper. Later. I will try to behave. This is difficult because I am already hungry. I really need an appetite depressant. Which the newer Medifast has built into it. I am using up older boxes. I think. I really mixed them all up. My knee is sprained I think. Which means - Leave it Alone! Lovely. I at least did the step machine a little this morning. And read the ending of a Barbara Metzger. She writes very off the wall funny Regencies. I have nearly 56,000 words done on Merry Christmas, Molly. I am at the conclusion third of the book. And I try to type in bursts. My characters (a lot of them) are all buzzing around and sorting out the ending. The one that they want. I do not understand writing by guideline. My characters jump off the ends of my fingers and do what they want to do. And in this heat, for we are having a heat wave, all I want to do is greedily devour all my new Regencies at once. Laying splayed out on a couch in a caftan sipping sodas and coffee. Of course, if I were working, I would be inside an air-conditioned office and not realize how hot it was until I lumbered through traffic. One of these days I will not be out and about in traffic and get to enjoy that. Tomorrow I go to Stanford for my younger son's chemo. Then over to CISCO to see the older son and buy him food. Then back to see the CPA and finish the taxes. Then over to Team in Training since my younger son is the honoree again. Very long day. Friday I drive down to Menlo Park for a doctor's appointment. I somehow do not manage to keep off the roads. But the heat is heavy and I have all fans and the room air-conditioner running. Mansfield Park (the new one) is running on cable. Quirky. I also have the DVD. Heat makes me hungry. The digital cable flipping in and out (interference?) bugs me and the peanuts are calling. |
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