2002 Story Set
| January 18, 2002 The much-postponed Fabio date that I bought two years ago (yes, that long) is on the table for scheduling - after Valentine's Day. Specific date not yet decided. Well. You can imagine the panic. I JUST CUT OFF ALL MY HAIR!!!!! After keeping it long and sexy for two years, I am scalped! And, I am overweight. Very. This means - I got serious about my diet - UGH! I am on four envelopes of Medifast and one Cup of lettuce and one 6 oz can tuna packed in water. This goes along with the 26 pills (E, Flaxseed oil, Stress Tabs, Myadec, Centrum Silver, Iron, Ginko, Kelp and Lethicin, Premerin, Progesterone, Synthroid, Claritin) I take every day. I stopped the Prilosec and the Celebrex - I think they were upsetting my stomach. This is day two and I am hungry enough to eat the couch! It takes 10 days to shrink your stomach. I am now prone on the floor AM and PM doing 100-180 leg lifts in every direction my legs can lift. Judging from my sore muscles, also a few that they shouldn't. I am doing free weights - 20 lbs push up and stretches. Bends. Abs. My weight machine has had the clothes removed and the floor cleared and I can now use it. Although it does need the cable replaced - the cable cover is cracked. If I knew where to get a cable - I would get it. I will get back to the gym and back on the treadmill - and hurry to the foot doctor see what other damage I did in the size 10 sneakers. I consulted another doctor. They have cut my thyroid - again - and it affected my absorption of Estrogen. And my feet and hands are freezing! Seems I am now not absorbing Estrogen. They doubled the Premarin I am on - to no avail! But--- I will not do the Estrogen shot until AFTER the date. Thank you - but I am regular and know what to expect every day of the month. My schedule is well established. Disturb my routine later! My regular doctor is out of the country so his daughter-in-law was standing in. She had to ask twice what I was saying - "Fabio? That Fabio?" She was in disbelief. The office nurses however, agreed. My younger son, sitting outside their window in the van was busy making faces at us all. So she sent me off for a bone density scan. 2,000 mg of calcium and weight lifting should keep my bones happy in the meantime. The nurses have decided that I will wear emerald green - velvet. Because I have green eyes. Well, sometimes they are green and sometimes they are blue. Now I must see if I have an evening gown pattern in the house to cover me in my current size. I am part 16, part 18 and part 20 (the waist). Nolan Miller is on QVC this weekend and I will hunt for appropriate jewelry. While waiting, I hit fashion day and added a duster to my Cityknits collection. That slinky pants suit outfit is suitable for the LA airport. The boy has been told - do not disturb mother! No hospital! No fever! Take your medication and behave! No alarming emergencies! But there is a rumor that MAYBE, just maybe there will be a photographer because MAYBE this will be an article in a magazine. Maybe. That was enough to set my younger son off. I told him I would have his brother baby-sit him and give him his shots. I would "take a break". I deserve one. Oh no! This was the wrong thing to say! Because my younger son is a photographer. And he thinks I deserve a personal touch. A good photo for a keepsake since I can hardly afford to keep buying time with this tall, blond Adonis. So my younger son, who was just waiting for an excuse, has decided that he should come with me. Stay in the hotel. Be there when Fabio picks me up. Be there when Fabio brings me back. (You get all of three hours with him.) But wait! On second thought (his). He needs to come along on the date as a chaperone. You see, my friend Pepper has provided me with the rules for kissing Fabio - and the lip gloss to go with them. I intend to ask to try out the rules. (No harm in that!) I am supposed to represent the entire fan club and give him one good one. This alone has made my son sit up and pay attention. Mother's mind is wandering again. Time to rope the woman in. I haven't even brought this up with the older child yet. You know they will put their heads together and start plotting. I, meanwhile, started applying self-tanning lotion to my very pale Northern California winter face. Sunlight being something we hear about but we seldom get to see. We have had either fog, rain, or severe cold and frost for weeks and weeks. I, as a result, look pale and wan. I need a glow. I am contemplating driving to San Diego just to see the sky. And warm up my feet. I need to get new panty hose - which I had stopped wearing. Hospital days being long and uncomfortable. I need to get another tube of Retinin A. My younger child, on observing my efforts, and on my stating that under no circumstances would he be coming along on the date, declared that "Well, you'd have to lose about 100 lbs and take off 30 years. I guess I'm safe." Smirk. Smirk. Rubbing in the fact that I just turned 60. I was remarkably restrained. I did not yell. I just sent him to his room. You should not insult the woman who mans the safety needles. Too bad he's not due for a shot tonight! I can plot too! |
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