2003 Story Set
Date: December 1, 2003 There is something inherently wrong about old photos. They do not look like what you currently face in the mirror each morning. I think I still look like I do in the old photos. We all do this. We remember that this is what we used to look like, we approved, and we can't recall just when the changes occurred. The older you get, the more the changes occur. You can try to slow them down of course. But you can never stop them. Until you stop. And then, you will not care what they do to you at the morgue. I look at the old photo my kids have dug out and try to remember the patience that I had in rolling up my hair every single blessed night and sleeping on huge rollers. And dousing my hair with a lot of style gel and a damp comb every night because heat, rollers and style gel was the only way to get it into some semblance of order. That and back-combing the bejeebers out of it. To keep it in order, I used a lot of a spray called Stylac -- unsented of course - sort of like varnish. It would hold that helmet hair for 8 hours. Not much past that however. My hair is stubborn. It would come undone. It would droop. It would wilt. It would break the bonds and flip out. Not up. My hair is older, wiser, and even more wily than it was in the past. Naturally streaked with gray and white, because it doesn't want to be normal, and having had gray hair since I was 22, it is constantly kept dyed. Every 3-4 weeks as a matter of fact since the roots at the part persist in coming in white. While the rest of the head is dark? Or speckled at best? And how come I suddenly have to shave my neck because that hair comes in white as well? Who knows what color it should be. Dark brown with red and gold? Plum? Dark Auburn? Streaked? I had streaked hair stating in the 1960s because my first husband thought I had mousey hair. I repeated that to a Beverly Hills hairdresser. Wolfgang of Austria. Voila! I had streaks. $$$$ It can look good that way. So much for dumb husbands (now ex.) When did I decide that short hair was better? When I was to damn tired to deal with it? When I had kids and two jobs and a house and Boy Scouts and did it all alone? I keep trying to grow it back out. It is thick and unruly. I have two cowlicks. Now they tell me. I have the rollers. And the gel. And hair spray. Now it is thickening hair spray. A sign of the times. Goes with thickening shampoo and thickening conditioner and thickening gel. I am back with big rollers. But somehow I do not seem motivated to do else but kick them under the bed in their box. That doctor who lifted and tightened my chin when I went from 200 to 122lbs the last time had gone up around my ears and into my hairline and changed the nature of the sides of my hair. I have never quite recovered. (He had not warned me about that. Freaked me out.) God knows what they would do if I let them do a full face lift. But I will need one. Someday. I use Retina products. Nearly every day. And SPF foundation. And SPF moisturizer. And stay out of the bright sun. But driving has put spots back on my face. That or the hormones. Not only that, but my driving arm needs attention. Like a laser resurfacing! And then, old age causes hair thinning. And receding. So even those of us blessed with thick hair (they used to make three appointments for me it would take that long to handle), have to eventually deal with the hard facts of aging. Thinning at the part - the same place it wants to be a big white streak. Maybe it's time for Rogaine for women? Should I get a wig? I do know that the old woman in the mirror is not who I think I am. And what happened to those distinctive thick eyebrows? Well, they thinned over time, all that tweezing, and receded from the bridge of my nose, and then they are coming in partially white and wild, the hairs going in every which way. Laser removal only works on dark hair. The laser cannot see the white ones. The problem ones. And the eyelashes? Those long thick eyelashes you used to have? A touch of Vaseline would do you? Now it's triple thick lengthening lash products that clog your eyeballs up. You wake up with black sleepy-seeds even if you wash and cream before going to bed. I could have my eyebrows and my eyelids tattooed. It's on my to-do list. This would help prevent me from scaring myself in the mornings. And then there are my lips. Thinning, In spite of creams and things. Is it time to enhance them back to what they used to be? And then tattoo them too? Rose-colored. It's up there with the Botox on the frown lines so the guys at work don't think I am angry all the time. This is called age-discrimination. Too bad I couldn't just Botox their brains. So looking at the old photos from 30 years ago disturbs me. I need to diet. I need to call a doctor. I need help! Am I still in here? |
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