2003 Story Set
| Date: December 30, 2003 Always cook more turkey and stuffing than you will eat, then you will have leftovers. Use stick-free aluminum foil - the greatest invention on the planet, and a toss-it aluminum roasting pan - ditto! Keep a bottle of wine, port, and some bourbon around. It will spice up everything from hot coffee to sausages to stuffing, and port wine goes well in mince pie. Serve veggie platters instead of mashed potatoes and turnips, and buy them ready-made Pre-made pie crust is very good now so use it whenever Pre-made pies can be ordered as can Christmas bread Unless you have the time - don't cook more than necessary Don't vacuum until the packages have been opened because they'll mess up the rug anyway Don't clean anything unless it moves of its own volition. And then don't vacuum the cat. Leave tinsel on the garlands so you can decorate faster next year. Always buy a new package of hanging hooks for ornaments since the ones on the bulbs will manage to remove themselves by next year. Not sure what goes on in those ornament boxes. Musical items that play the same Christmas song over and over must have an off switch. Children that mess with Mother's musical items don't get any pie. Run the dishwasher and unload it before Christmas dinner. That way your guests can reload the machine after dinner. If you are not feeding more than eight people, two pies are enough. Two kinds of cookies, three if children are involved, are enough. Forget fudge, no one should eat it anyway. Stick on bows sometimes need a little tape assist - but they basically work well. Leave fancy decorations on packages to the kids to make. When you are running low on your supply of wrapping paper, be sure to shop next Dec 26th for more at 1/2 price. Christmas starts Dec 25th and runs 12 days. Use this rule when mailing packages. There are no lines at the post office on the 26th. Christmas cards can be mailed anytime you get around to it. I have cards I bought to mail four years ago, and they are still in their box. Remove stuffing after dinner and place in fridge - and then deal with the turkey when you can. Keep it cold, not frozen, and strip it within 3 days. 24 hours is better if you are still standing. Zip-top freezer bags are marvelous. Gravy made from pan drippings (and Kitchen Bouquet) and seasonings - you should make a VAT, can be added to the meat and stuffing freezer packs making them a meal in a bag. 2 cups turkey + 1 cup gravy or 1 cup stuffing and 1/2 cup gravy per baggie. Make gravy with a BAMIX - it takes care of lumps. No self-respecting lump will survive a BAMIX whipping. Put a red-plaid table cloth on the table and white dishes and add anything you own that sparkles. A few candles. And turn out the overhead lights. Can't complain if they can't see it. Shelled nuts come in bags and cans, saving the problem of finding where Uncle Joe and little Tommy left those pesky nut shells that you always find when barefoot. Children over 22 do not need candy in their stockings.They need toothpaste, socks and funny underwear. Put the tree up 5 days before Christmas, water it well, take it down as soon as the water runs out. If you cannot get the Christmas ornaments into one of the two storage units you rent, it's time to clean the storage units. Do not use low-fat evaporated milk in your pumpkin pie. YUCK! Mothers are always entitled to pie. Children who argue about this should receive coal in their stockings. |
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